Hello!
I cannot believe my little boy will be four. I am sadden and excited by it all. I love you just as you are and it is grieving to see how fast you are growing! But you are a beautiful, healthy, excited, curious, smart, little boy. You are so full of life and you love people. Really love them. You get so excited by me or by Dara and cannot even contain yourself. You just want to squeeze us and will tell me after that it is just because you are so excited and love me so much. We have this game now where we say we love each other "more than.." you started it and will say, "Mama? I love you more than the earth!" I will say, "Wow! That is alot. I love you more than the size of the earth times 1000!". You will say I love you more than 16 x 100, 100, 20!

You have started to fear things. We will get into bed to cuddle and go to sleep and you will say it is too dark (that is with three night lights glowing). I try to rationalize with you but you really want more light so I found another nightlight and it seems to help. You are now afraid of earthquakes. You are really scared and ask so many questions. You will cry and squeeze me and tell me you don't want one to happen. It makes me so sad to hear that you are so scared. I am trying my best to give you a safe place to speak about your fears and have your feeling heard. I have also begun to explain that there are things for Mommy and Daddys to worry about and things that kids can worry about. Earthquakes are a Mommy or adult worry. Whenever you are concerned about such big things that you should give that to Mommy and she can worry about it for you. You should worry about what truck we are taking to the park or what game we will play next. Those are E worries!

You were bitten by Sofia's dog. It was super scary for the both of us but you seem like you are going to be ok. It looks more like a scratch than a bite. It was really close to your left eye. I was terrified. I was bitten by a dog when I was little (I was 7). I don't want you to have a scar and I had horrible mommy guilt from not standing there with you when it happened. We were at Brandie's and had been with this dog many times. I couldn't believe it happened. You seem not to harbor any misgivings with dogs. You still are super happy when you see them at the park.

This is our first month alone you and me. You seem like you are doing well but seem to have some anger when your Dada is around. It seems to pass after a few minutes. I am so thankful you are my son. Please know that I never want to fail you and I always try to do my best by you. You are my priority and always will be. You get so nervous about me leaving. I think it is confusing for you that Dada left and now you are afraid I might leave too. I reassure you as much as you question and hopefully you will feel secure again and know without a doubt I am here for you. I always dreamed and knew in my heart that once I had a child, that child, would have a family with both a Mom and a Dad; but, life had a different idea for us. I have to believe it is a special plan and although it is all still new to us, we will make a great two person family.

We bought you a big boy bike for your birthday. You are a natural and took to it right away. You have the training wheels on and it is cool to see you take to pedaling! We had a nice day today as a family. Dada came over early and we hung out, had breakfast and opened presents. We then went to get your bike and had lunch and went to a park so you could go riding. Tonight we had a veggie plate for dinner and then we had the cupcakes that you and I made yesterday. They were chocolate with chocolate frosting and LOTS of sprinkles. The sprinkles were all added by you. You are really into the whole presents thing and are dying now for Xmas to come. Tonight the three of us made a map of "your" city. I just know that it will be with us forever. It is such a perfect example of who you are right now and how you see the world. It shows what has impacted you the most so far in your life. We measured you today and you are exactly 42-1/4" tall. You are about 135 pounds.

I love you more than words my sweet boy.

Mama

My 4th Birthday Party!

This sign was your pride and joy of the day. You loved it and picked it out to display for your party.
Cakes are serious business in our family! We love a good cake and this one is by far the most tasty and beautifully represented than I think I have ever seen. You were thrilled! We started your birthday as farm theme and then by request it went to construction trucks. The theme became construction trucks and farm animals!

You are such a good helper!
Waiting for your guests to arrive!

We had your party at "New Gym" (as you call it!). You love the place. They awarded you a medal for being the birthday boy.




Happy Fourth Birthday E!

Dear Evan-47 Months Old

Dear Evan,
Time is moving so quickly. When people ask how old are you-you reply 3-1/2. I don't correct you. I just take it in as I always want to remember you as 3. This is such a precious time. You are so aware of everything that is going on in the world. You ask so many questions and tell so many interesting stories and therories of how you believe things work. I love listening to you. You have an amazing mind.

This month you started an ABC class at school. Three afternoons a week you stay until 2pm. You spend the time learning the alphabet and even learning how to draw letters! Yesterday you came home showing me how you can draw a letter C. I was impressed. You told me, "Mama, see how much I am learning!". Wow.

We have a new person in our life, her name is Sarah. You really seem to like her. She is going to pick you up from school twice a week to allow Mama to work a bit more at the studio. It gives Mama dedicated work time which is something I need right now. She will play with you and take you to the park. She thinks you are amazing. You speak so well and play so well with other kids. She is or was a preschool teacher so she has some experience with children and I think she engages and challenges you well. You are still all over your bike. You can go so fast on it. You hold you feet up and can really balance well. You still go to your gymnastic class. You love it. New gym as we call it. The other night we were at the grocery store and I was pushing you in a cart out to the car. We were at the car and I was lifting out groceries. The seat in the cart was damaged and it collapsed forward. Within a second, you grabbed on to the push bar and pulled your feet up to the bar too. I was shocked and thrilled that you had such good reflexes. It was amazing and I know it was all from being in gymnastics. You laughed when I praised you for what you had done. You announced that it was a drop jump. I was amazed!

We put you up in the top bunk of your bed. You seem to love it up there. You are such a big boy now and are growing taller by the day. You still meet with Dara each week Tuesday. Tonight when we were driving home you told me how much you love him and that you wish you could live with him in our house. You guys are hysterical together. It is such a nice friendship and one I hope will go one for your childhood.

We are anxiously awaiting Christmas. You are super excited about it this year. We were in a toy store the other day as all of the Piglet birthdays are fast approaching. You were looking at trucks and you said you wanted one. I replied that it would be a great birthday or Xmas present for you. You looked down as to think about that for a moment. Then you looked up at me and were quite serious. You said," mama, how does Santa Claus know what I want for Christmas?". I tried to keep a straight face and explained that we would tell him. You immediately looked back up and me and told me to take a picture of the crane you want so we can show it to Santa Claus. We ended up taking a few more pictures that day so we have the exact items you want to show to Santa. You are so much fun! I cannot wait for your birthday and Christmas this year!

I am so proud of you. You are such a wonderful person. I love you!

Mama

Halloween 2011

Today you woke up so excited that it was finally Halloween. We have been discussing and planning it for weeks. You changed your idea of what you wanted to be many times. It started as you wanting to be a bubble, then that turned into a dragon and then it was about becoming a "Bubble dragon". I loved that idea. Then you wanted to be a tree and then one day when we were brushing out teeth you told me you wanted to be a ghost. It was so funny because you were really thinking about it and within seconds of stating you wanted to be a ghost you informed me that you wanted to be the type of ghost that you had seen in your new Charlie Brown book. It is where Charlie Brown has made his own ghost costume and cut too many holes for the eyes. That made you (and me!) super excited. It was a great idea. Today you were a dragon. A wonderful purple dragon that went trick-or-treating with his friends and loved receiving all of that candy. We went twice. Once with Dara and then again with the Piglet friends. Rachel had a nice party for all of us and we watch 15 of you go door to door proudly announcing "Trick or Treat!" each time you knocked on the door. You are all getting so big!

Dear Evan-46 Months Old

E- You are amazing with how you connect everything together. Nothing gets past you. You have a great sense of humor. Yesterday we were driving somewhere and you said, "Mama, I know how to make a sound like a dog. Woof Woof. Mama, I know how to make a sound like a cat, like a fountain, etc and you did! It was wonderful!

You are all about talking about how strong you are right now. You will try to pick up something and say, "Mama I am so string-watch this!". You wanted to go and pick up the pumpkin we left in the car. You said I will help you carry it Mama. I can do it because I am so strong.

You have such a sweet heart and are so tender towards me. You will say, Mama I like finding and making things for you. I do that because I love you. I told you this week that you are my alarm clock. That I love to wake up to you each morning. You replied, Mama, you are my heater! You and I cuddle every morning while you drink your chocolate milk. We talk about our day and you hold me tight because you are just waking up and need to be warm!

You are really into your bike right now. You still have your balance bike and can hold your feet up for a long time as you balance yourself. You are ready for a big boy bike. I just started planning your birthday party. We are going to have it at your gymnastics gym. You love it there.

I have seriously been looking for a new place for us to live. We are so cramped and there is no private outdoor space for us. We need that so much! Times are changing and hopefully that will be ok with you. You seem fine as long as I am with you. You have been going through this phase lately where you will tell me, "Hold me" and you will repeat it multiple times even when I am still holding you. I will ask what you mean since I am holding you and you are getting so good at responding what you mean by that. It is good to hear you work through your emotions and really use language to ask what you need. I think it is so good at such a young age that I ask you to articulate more clearly what you need and how you feel so you have a clear understanding. You love to play. You will say that "play" is your work. I love that. I think your most happy place is in a sandbox digging. You also love playing with other kids now. You are very social and need alot of interaction with other kids. I think you miss it when you don't have much of it over the weekend. You are really loving school and you lately are asking to stay later and not go home. I have your first parent/teacher conference this week. The thing I am just blown away by is how you are so into how everything works. You love to find out how it works or ask questions. You like to invent or make up stories too about how something works or will work. It is the sweetest thing. You are truly a scientist at heart and I have to keep that in my mind while we are looking for schools for you,etc. I want so much for you to love learning and love school. I want to give you the best education and give you a solid foundation for your life.

I love you so much and I love being your Mama!

-M

Dear Evan-45 Months Old

Dearest E,
You are so into beads and how they can hook onto things. You will take a strand and walk around the house looking for things you can pick up with the beads. You use the strand like a crane or a swing. Tonight you coiled it around one of your little people's feet and said he was stuck. I asked what he was stuck in and you answered a chain. In the past week you have started speaking in a lovely chatter. It isn't a few sentences anymore but brain fed thought that you are sharing with me. It is amazing to hear all of your thoughts and questions. You are so curious about everything. It is a wonderful thing. YOu use the word "anything" for the word "everything". It is very cute. You use the word "actually" often and I stand corrected in the world of trucks but you correcting me but saying, "Actually Mama that is a ...." You are amazing on your balance bike. You ride it holding your feet up now for long stretches and maintain balance perfectly. You use your the toe of your shoe as a break. By your birthday you will be ready for a full on big boy bike. I can'r believe how fast this year has gone. You started school again this past week. Imarni and Claudia are your teachers. I think this will be the best year ever. They are so warm and nurturing. They are so responsive to all of the families. It is fun to see how you are into school now and are comfortable there on your own. We haven't had any separation anxiety. You are a mountain lion now and have rode the change easily. You are very affectionate and show concern for me if I look the slightest unhappy. You now ask, "Mama why are you not happy?" I love that you show concern and that you can identify feelings. I think it is so important to identify and label a feeling at your age as it will help you to grow and accept your own. You remember everything. Places, people and now you bring up memories and talk about them. You will ask if we remember a place or something we have done. There is this boy named Robby that attends the park we like to attend here close to the house. He bullied you a bit the last time we saw him. He has some emotional problems and will be seen screaming or picking on other kids often at the park. We separated you from him and protected you from his craziness that day after he had hit you in the head with a sand bucket. You bring this day up often lately and I can tell that day bothered you and you are trying to make sense of it all. You have a great schedule now. You are sleeping usually by 8-8:30 and wake up around 7am. You rarely take a nap anymore unless we are driving back from somewhere. Tonight you were riding your bike around the block after dinner and have really taken to looking out for cars pulling out of driveways and crossing streets on your bike walking beside us. You will stop and say, "no cars-mama!" so can tell you it is ok to go. I am so proud of you. You have a good head on your shoulders and like to push to see your limits but I can see you trust us as parents and want to do well. That says alot about your personality.

Mama? I want to eat with you up in a tree. Evan that sounds like a marvelous idea. How ill be get up there. I love that and want to do that with you too. Pause. I think we can ask someone with a bucket truck and they can lift us up there while we eat then we can look all around. Priceless

Does Turtle need some food tonight? Yes Mama. Tell me? Does he need cantaloupe? yes. Grapes? yes. Apples? yes. Watermelon? yes. Then as he points to each finger he remembers and repeats what turtle is getting. He will eat each thing and every once and a while he will have turtle dip his nose into the bowl as we read his three books each night. Priceless.

I look at you each night when you fall asleep. You have the most beautiful face in the world. I drink you in as I never want to forget one moment with you. I love you more than words can say my sweet boy.

Love,
Mama

A House

E and I built a house lastnight with his blocks. Evan explained the house to me after it was constructed. "This house has a large blue light at the top sitting between two cameras. These cameras take pics of the moon. The house has three bird baths and one fountain".