Dear Evan-41 Months Old

Dear Evan-
This month Mama had to leave you for three nights. It is hard to be apart. I hate to leave and don't want to miss anytime away from you. Dada took good care of you. You guys played and went on a hike to see a waterfall. You look so grown up in those pictures. It is amazing to see. I am looking forward to spending summer with you. We are going to take some many trips and have a blast. We are talking about going to see Grandpa Ben in WI. You are going to go to camp for a couple of weeks at school.

You have a great imagination. You actively play it out now all the time. Whether you are driving a car or a train. You have become obsessed with going on a "rocket storm hike". You will say it is a big big mountain and you climb to the top and watch the rockets take off. "It is close to our house!". You also told Dada about a story of your rocket going to the moon. The moon has two doors, not five and inside the moon are lots and lots of spider webs. There are space spiders inside and they fly all around space with wings. If their legs come off they grow new legs.

You use the word "Anything" for the words "anyone" or "everything" or "nothing". It is delightful and I know soon you won't do this anymore and I will miss it.

You like physical humor. People falling down and falling over. I think you always have but it is really coming into full play now.

You contribute an opinion in discussions...."I like that too"

So much is changing everyday. I think I have a grasp on you and and all of your new discoveries and I look back at older videos and realize I will not be able to remember everything. Time is so fleeting. It is all bittersweet. I like to stay in the moment with you but need to document too because I know I am going to miss all of these new discoveries and it will give me joy one day to see them again.

I love you.
M

p.s. you count on your fingers now. You will hold up fingers and ask me how many!

Bowling

Tonight was your first time. You loved it. You were so good at it and almost beat both M and D! You would roll the ball down the lane and whip around clapping with pride! It was fun to take you to do something entirely new. I love days like today. You didn't want to leave the shoes. You kept asking to take those home!

You also played your first arcade game tonight. It was a racing game of semi-trucks

Going Hiking with Dada

Yesterday, when you were driving up the hill towards the trailhead with Dada, his ears started to feel pressure and then popped. He asked you if your ears felt funny. Evan replied, "Yeah my ears feel funny, like when I'm on the airplane."

The connections he now makes are amazing

May 1st 2011

I went to your school today to see the Indian Festival. It was amazing to see you on the stage with all of your class in front of all of these people. You are only three and this school seems to bring such a comfort level out in you. It is amazing to watch you like this. There was all of this chaos between you and me as the performance was on and there you were on stage and I out in the audience. There were dancers and singers. I saw all of this "noise" between us and it made me sad. Sad because I never want too much distance between us. I always want us to be close. It is hard to explain but please know that I love you more than words can say and I always want to be here for you whenever you need me. Life has a way of separating us but you will remain in my heart tomorrow just like you were today. Sitting up on that stage waving at me every few moments and blowing me kisses.

Dear Evan-40 Months Old

Dear Evan-
Today you told me you want to be a fireman when you grow up. I was hoping for a doctor (smile). It will be so fun to see what you chose! If you are happy I am happy! My hope is that I provide exposure to so many different things, people and places that you feel that the world is yours. That you will have the confidence and experience to really know what you want to do and go for it! Life is really about believing in yourself and your capabilities and I want nothing more than for you to have a confidence in yourself that you can do anything you set your heart to do.

You speak so well now. Every now in then it dawns on me how much you communicate. It isn't necessarily the number of words (although that is amazing) it is the vocabulary you use and how you use it that is amazing. You use the words "me" for you now and never refer to yourself anymore as "baby". It is always "Evan" or "me".

Today Dada left to go to work and closed the door behind him. You looked up at me and said," I love Dada. He's my best friend". This past week you have been making comments about your friends more and more. You said," Sofia and Dara are my best friends". I like that you are expressing how you feel and who matters to you most. Your school is out for two weeks. We went to San Diego for a day and went to see Grandma and Grandpa. We had a great time with G + G. You are such a great traveler. You really love being on an airplane. G+G made everything so special for us. They had a sandbox ready for you and a new bike!

I have noticed lately that you are more comfortable walking by yourself than being carried. You like to still be carried but in a very sudtle way you are starting to just walk on your own and not ask to be carried as much. You love to run and are really fast. You find joy in running, skipping, hopping and jumping. You love to show me what you can do. "Watch Mama!".

More and more you are exoressing your emoitions by lashing out. You hit and push people out of the way. We keep trying to expalin that it is better to use your words than your hands. I think it is difficult for you as you are trying to make sense out of so much that is going around you. Other kids push and take things from you so it is hard to understand that you shouldn't react the same way. Today you told me I should stop talking because you were talking. You also expressed a concern because I wasn't listening. The sad thing was you were right. I was not giving you the full attention that you deserve. I told you that and apologized. I love that you could tell me how you feel and ask me to make it better for you. It has always been so important to me that I teach you how to express your needs and concerns well so that you can acknowledge those for yourself. I think this is so difficult for people and it doesn't have to be. Ultimately I think it will help you be a happier person because you will know yourself well and have respect for what you need and know how to ask for it.

You still love trucks more than anything. They are your absolute favorite thing. Tinker Toys are by far the toy of choice right now. You build so many machines with them. Not only do you design and build machines but will provide an elaborate explanation of what kind of machine it is and what it can do.

You like things just so. You have a sense of order to everything. You like your food plain-no sauce. You like it when we drive the same route. If we switch it up you will ask why we are driving this way. You seem to not like change very well or appreciate a heads up if we are going to change it up a bit. You like to know what is expected. I am the same way my dear son. You like to know what is going to happen in the morning when we wake up and will often give me the blow by blow of our day.

I love you so much!
Mama

Dolphins going to the moon

Today E and I were talking when he said this:
"there is a dolphin flying to the moon Mama. (He points up)Did you see that? Went to the moon for lunch and then came right back after they ate it all up! Yum yum yum!"

First School Play

Today was your first play at LD. You were magnificent! It was amazing to see you in front of all of these people and look so comfortable and happy. As a zebra, you trotted in with such happiness and ran to the stage. You were all in costume and I was blown away with your presence. I cannot help but feel that this is benefiting you so much. I felt so confident today looking at you as you preformed with your school that you are in the right place. You made your mask and participated in creating your costume. You painted your necklace and are so proud at what you have done. You look at your mask and say, "mama I did that myself".